A Scar And A Picture

I have a scar going down the center of my chest and two smaller scars underneath. When I was little, it was called my zipper and my buttons. I was proud to show it off whenever given the chance! I always knew that my "zipper" was from the heart surgeon cutting my chest open to get to my heart, but never really knew why my "buttons" were there. The other day while reading a blog post about a little guy with a badly broken heart, and looking at pictures of him shortly after his surgery, I realized why my "buttons" were there. It was eye opening to come to this conclusion and now I see my "buttons" in a whole new light.
The little boy, barely a toddler had tubes and wires all over his tiny bloated body. There were two large drainage tubes coming out right underneath the center of his chest to drain his body of excess fluid after the surgery. Looking at these pictures and thinking about what my parents went through was hard. Even still looking at these pictures and catching a glimpse of what our future, what Koralyn's future might hold, was even harder. Thinking about watching your sweet baby girl go through something like this is heart wrenching.
I have always wished my parents kept some kind of journal or memory book of my open heart surgery experience, but it was a different time and place when I had my procedure done. I wish now more then ever I could get a glimpse of what it was like for them, for my sister, and for me as a three year old little girl to go through that whole process. I have virtually no memories of the suffering and physical pain of the ordeal. Only scant memories of the hospital, walking down the hallways during my recovery, the helicopters landing outside a window as my mom and I watched. Now whether these memories are real or something created in my mind after the accounts I have heard, who knows! The mind is a mysterious thing isn't it. I remember years after going to see Dr. Fripp my surgeon in the big building in downtown Albuquerque and always being excited. How cold the stickers on the monitors were for the echos, how as I got older, having my shirt off became more embarrassing, and how I was always given a good diagnosis after those appointments.
I take much comfort in the fact that sweet Koralyn won't have memories of this time. I take comfort in knowing that at one time, I was the bloated toddler in the hospital bed with tubes and wires keeping me monitored and alive; and now here I am, no worse for the wear. I have such a blessed life, and so many wonderful memories, none of which include those tubes and wires. Only the sometimes itchy battle scars remain to remind me of what we all went through when I was three years old. I wear these scars proudly just like I did then (of course I don't show them off proudly anymore) I am sure our sweet Koralyn will do the same, all the while knowing it is those scars many prayers and Gods grace and mercy that saved her precious life.

"Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9